Don’t make dinner
You deserve a night to choose your own adventure
I recently chatted with a group of moms who are totally over the question, “What’s for dinner?”
As in, “Why are my grown children still asking me what’s for dinner?” or “Why is the assumption always that I’m going to make dinner?”
These are valid questions.
Whether or not you enjoy cooking, mealtimes — especially if you are coming off a busy work day and still need to walk your dog, help your kids navigate homework or a sticky social situation, and/or deal with any number of adulting tasks — can feel like a grind some days.
This week’s homework may feel difficult, but I want you to go for it! Choose a day where you don’t make dinner and do something fun of your choosing instead. To address a few potential objections up front:
If you are partnered, ideally there would not be the expectation that you are always responsible for mealtimes, but if that’s the dynamic, tell them you’re off for the night.
If your kids are younger and they ask about dinner, direct them to easy options like cereal (total valid for dinner), toast with cheese (low risk of setting things on fire), or pasta (if they are comfortable using the stove).
If your kids are teens or legal adults it is totally valid to say, “Cooking is an essential life skill. See what you come up with!”
The reality is, if you keep making dinner — grumpily or not — no one is going to learn how to fend for themselves.
If you need further inspiration to commit to this homework, here are some fun, nourishing things you could do with a non-dinner making hour:
Take a walk (alone or with a friend)
Call and catch up with a friend
Read a book
Watch a show
Flip through a magazine
Enjoy a beverage and/or snack at a cafe or restaurant bar
Visit that local business you’ve been wanting to pop into for months
Create something (e.g., words in a journal, something crafty)
Work on a puzzle
Play a game
Meanwhile, I’ll share an example from last week. I am someone who enjoys cooking and is skilled at putting together a quick dinner, but one night I was just over it. I didn’t even want to think about it. To my family’s credit, even though I cook a lot of meals, they are unphased on the days where I don’t cook or just make my own meal.
Ironically, in that moment the fun thing I wanted to do instead of make dinner was still in the kitchen but it was a creative not functional act.
I wanted to try making brookies.
Violet had made brookies a few weeks ago to great success but she wasn’t around to ask for the recipe. So I made these NYT brookies. The act of unwinding and being creative through baking was just what I needed. We all agreed that we needed a comparison to Violet’s recipe soon since most of her batch went to school with her. The recipe she used was from Butternut Bakery and I plan on making a batch this weekend.
Fun!
❤️ Christine
This week’s episodes
If you aren’t yet subscribed to Edit Your Life, search “edit your life” wherever you enjoy listening to podcasts, or you can hit the play button in the embeddable players at the Edit Your Life website or below. Here’s what went live this week.
Looking to get a better night of sleep? Sleep impacts more than you might think. Christine chats with Dr. Natalie Dautovich about the micro events that impact macro factors related to sleep and wellness in general.
Love this approach. Weeks that feature at least one evening without making dinner really are the best 🫶
The off-ramp away from cooking ALL of my large family's meals, day in, day out, has been slow and stuttering, but there was a big shift this year and now I think I'm maybe cooking actual family meals once a week or so. I still cook/bake a lot, but it tends to be for myself/my husband, or just for fun, and not going in with the intention of creating a full-on family meal. That shift begins, I think, with realizations like yours - "Hey, these are grown people; I no longer need to be responsible for every aspect of their nutritional and caloric intake!" And then of course, life just happens - they get jobs, hang out with their friends, go off to class, etc.
The two kids of mine who are still under my roof both currently have summer jobs where they get shift meals, which has really sped things along, too. It helps when your kids are literally paid in meals.